at 7am tomorrow. My neuro agrees that it is more likely that there are 1-2
underlying conditions which account for all of the issues. It is easier to
treat one or two conditions instead of trying to balance 8-10 piecemeal
Wish me luck.
Aaaa, this blast from the past rolled around on my partner's spotify tonight. So much power pop goodness...I have ~feels~ about this song. ^_^;
Also notable: apparently Weezer did a cover of this song for the movie Cars 2. It's pretty good! They didn't stray very far from the original. =)
If there's anything you'd like to see me ramble on about, could be about fandom, sports, life, non-fannish stuff, whatever! It can be specific or general. It can be something I already talk about a fair amount or something you wish I'd talk about more. It can even be something you've never seen me express an opinion on but you're curious about my thoughts! Just comment here and I will post about it sometime during the month. There's no time limit to leaving comments, so if you see this post a few days or even a few weeks late, you can still ask! And multiple topics are ok!
Leave me a prompt for any fandom I know, and I'll see if my drabble muse strikes. :) You can leave more than one prompt (in fact I encourage it...) but no promises on the uh, results.
(If you're stuck on a fandom to prompt, for uh, totes legit reasons, despite having the last three months of the manga on my to acquire and read list, I'm trying to write Naruto fic so prompts for that would be appreciated! But any fandom I know, I'm willing to have a go at. :) )
But even though my body is all inertia-y and lazy, my brain is in MAKE ALL THE THINGS mode.
( list o stuffs, all rav links )
I think that some of the make-all-the-things impulse is, like, the same thing that is me wanting to do cross-stitch. It's unreleased creativity that my body can't really do any more (or at least do easily) that I want to be able to do in the way that I did before. I want to do cross-stitch; I want to knit normally, using whatever size yarn and whatever size needles; I don't care about crocheting normally because I never did that and my current method works, but I want to be able to crochet objects larger than a dishcloth without having the fabric get in my way or having problems flipping at the ends of rows; I want to be able to use a yarn needle again, for weaving in ends and for sewing things.
I want to, and I can't, and my brain hasn't willingly caught up to my body's limitations.
( 0/10 DNF )
( 1-5/10 )
( 6-8/10 )
9-10/10 Would Read Again, Definitely Recommend
Book in a Month (NF)
Daughter of Smoke and Bone
Days of Blood and Starlight
Dreams of Gods and Monsters
Book of Life
You Are Here (NF)
As You Wish (NF)
Queen of the Tearling
Rivers of London
Moon Over Soho
Outcomes: I now ~understand~ that ~gender neutrality~ is like ~anarchism~ in that it is inherently unstable and will inevitably collapse into one of democracy or dictatorship (YOU'RE WELCOME); I note that "people find it too difficult to present as gender neutral in ~~~real life~~~" is not in point of fact an argument that gender-neutral identities don't exist, and you position yourself uniquely to believe that in fact they do not; "but what if in a decade's time you don't feel comfortable taking your shirt off on a beach!!!" is not in fact an argument against giving me top surgery now; etc etc. Not dreadful, nothing I couldn't cope with, and next time I possibly get to see Lorimer.
My mental health has improved markedly since starting the vitD, which is extremely pleasant. I am so, so much better; it's a great relief - I'm back down to PHQ-9 score of 8 (from 18 when we tested my bloods). (8 is operating-within-normal-parameters for me -- I am scoring quite highly on the fatigue questions because I've had a long lab stint, and have been in work every day yes-including-weekends since sometime early last week.)
( The rest of the ten good things! )
It took us at least five minutes to wind the conversation to a point where I was no longer laughing too hard to drive.
Purple had parked in the other direction, and asked if he could bum a ride back to his car if I'd like him to walk me out. So that's what we did.
I managed to trip on a perfectly flat section of floor in the cafeteria. Purple finds skirts impractical and feels no need to wear them.
"Cousin Purple" is having Thanksgiving with his one friend's family.
The day was transcription, punctuated by someone's network switch going spare and getting its internet taken away. Plus the inevitable fallout from same: the "oh my god I can't reach this tool it's a network problem" and the "holy shit, how do we report an outage" and the "let us contemplate the ways in which our communication between Engineering and IT is fucked" conversation -- it was a bit of a busy day.
I explained in very small words to an IT manager (on behalf of a #VirtualH and #adventuresofstnono compatriot) why the fuck whitelisting email addresses in the tool that blocks email from unfamiliar addresses and furthermore mangles unfamiliar links, will not work for the purposes of having unfamiliar links in logs from strange servers included as text attachments not being fucking mangled by the mangler. Fuck.
Apparently my arguably passive-aggressive means of getting our friend the person incoherently in charge of the helldesk software (3rd tier, I think) to admit that a function went away, is to ask her to explain how such and such a task is accomplished with that set of permissions.
Today was my second time walking an engineer through a really poorly designed form in a way that didn't make the engineer feel stupid, but did hone the rage and hatred of everyone involved. (The first time was Mr. Zune. The 0th time was me vs. the helpdesk.) I am particularly acrimonious about this particular form as this is one of the ones where my usability concerns have been basically brushed off. It's one of the things where using it as it comes naturally is not how it's intended to be used -- if you leave any text in the terrible field before hitting the search icon because your first attempt has failed, the text in the terrible field will invisibly filter the results in the popup. And there is no way to clear the terrible field from the search popup. It makes strong-minded engineers frustrated past their safety-release-valve thresholds, and it makes me incoherent with rage and hatred, and pathetically grateful when the engineers agree just how terrible it is.
It turns out that Dolohov, as he is played in Alternity (the little bits I've seen, as I'm still intermittently catching up with Year 1) makes my inner submissive look thoughtfully around for the kneepads. (Kneeling is good for many purposes, not just the ones that would make Purple look sternly at me and ascertain that I was oriented correctly away. It was only when woggy mentioned a thing that I realized that this would have that implication.)
Purple swears he will remember the Catching Fire disc tomorrow.
Fishie is the perfect child because she loves the jellybeans I hate.
The guy who isn't usually at the burrito station cannot wrap a burrito properly. Jokes about his popularity amongst stoners ensued.
NaNo: not going so great (haven't really had the energy). I'm feeling OK about it.
Partway through the afternoon I headed for the bathroom and then sort of jumped back while apologizing, because the door didn't swing freely and I was afraid there was someone on the other side, and it was making a terrible noise. Then I realized that no, it was just making a terrible noise because it was broken. So I filed a ticket; the phrase "flatulent elephant seal" was employed. I linked it in #cupcake for Mr. Zune's delectation. radius inquired whether Alaska was particularly well-equipped with flatulent elephant seals. If it is, it's not my parts of it. I then made a very ill-advised but informative trip to YouTube.
I was not incorrect.
I fetched dinner from the cafeteria at the top of the hill and advised Purple that if he was hungry in the next hour-ish, to ping me. He did, and we enjoyed a pleasant interlude, complete with discussion of exactly what would go into the cat-buttering assembly line construction app (at least a dollar's worth of greased feline hilarity).
Patting Purple on the head is not a valid life choice.
We returned to our various pursuits: I transcribed, Fishie tried to wrap her head around a Python quirk, and Purple beat his head against some very unhelpful compile errors.
azurelunatic: The statement "programmers are enormously clever fuckheaded dumbasses" is almost always true, and some asshole had to invent the language.
eveandriss well, that makes a lot more sense now actually...
Purple did not disagree.
A substantial amount of swearing later, Purple had got things working and was also fucking done. He showed up looking sleek and stylish and company-branded in the jacket, and we wandered out into the damp and leaf-strewn night. He had in fact been just thinking that perhaps he needed something for that middle state between flannel-or-equivalent and puffy teal grouse mode, and then, serendipity! The hackathon hoodie was a pullover, and Purple and I have similar feelings about pullovers (no). Usual engineer-level swag is the ugliest t-shirts known to man, and they'll take two, so they can look terrible twice as often.
I suggested that the default state of the shirts was perhaps not the ugliest shirt known to man, and began attempting to contextualize "The Situation" and his ab-window shirt. Purple started giggling when I got to the ab-window, and lifted his shirt to briefly expose a moderately hairy bear belly. He felt that no manager in the company would be particularly pleased with an Unfortunate Situation shirt. "If one guy does it," I started, and fairly shortly we were both on the Group W bench plotting exactly how much spray-tan you'd need to outfit a couple-ten Unfortunate Situations.
He's got an early lunch with his team tomorrow. I have to get gas (a little ahead of schedule). Catching Fire is in the offing. (Me borrowing the movie, not actual fire.)
Words Written Today: 3,789 (!), mostly blog
Total Words Written: 28,987
WPD to hit 50k by the end of the month: 1911
Words on Project A, aka autobiographical blog: 13,712
Words on Project B, aka Yuletide: 7,874 (includes three completed stories, most of a 4th that is at 3619 words, and parts of three others)
Words of fiction written in all of 2012 to present (excluding this): 8970, over 9 stories
You guys. I have written almost as much pure fiction in the last 19 days as in the previous 3 years combined. And one of the stories I have done for Project B is literally the longest I have ever written for Yuletide (second longest being 2959 words in 2005) and the longest thing of fiction I have written since Jul 2011.
Project C, which makes up the other 7kish of the wordcount, is a little cheatingier since it's not True Writing -- Project A is my own memories but in narrative form, Project B is definitely fic, but C is a catchall category, mostly used for days when I've made insufficient progress (or none at all) on the other two, and it's still Things What I Have Written. (And not even just lyrics to les mis typed out over and over again, which I have considered sometimes.)
It's not a novel. But considering that I've basically been in a writing drought for several years, this is pretty damn impressive output.
I am not displeased.
(Except for the perfectionist part of me that will only be satisfied if I hit 50k, and is grumbling about how it's not actually a novel and so doesn't really count. But that part of me can stfu.)
Ben Aaronovitch, Foxglove Summer: The newest Rivers of London book! I gather that a lot of the fandom isn't feeling very positively about this one, and I'll agree that in a lot of ways it feels kind of like filler -- it doesn't advance any of the major arc mysteries very much (though at least we do find out something about Ettersberg). And for some reason Nightingale really isn't in this at all. Frowny face. And I thought the actual plot resolution was kind of... weird. Also there was much more het sex than I think I really needed to read. But I will give this ALL THE HEARTS to this book because of the identity of the invisible friend. Ahahahaha yes.
Original Sin: Wooo, Marvel events I don't really like! Apparently this just came out in hardcover so I decided to credit myself for reading it because otherwise I am never going to make it to a hundred books this year. It's, uh... the main series (which I think is what this collects) is really weird and you probably shouldn't bother and right now all I can remember about it is the planet with a face and Bucky with a decapitated Nick Fury LMD and the part where Cap and Fury and Logan and probably a couple other people gather around to have Meat Night where they eat meat like the manly manly men they are. (Not a euphemism.) But I guess I should be grateful to Original Sin because without it I would not have had Avengers #29.
Iron Man Noir: I, uh, appear to be writing fanfiction set in this particular continuity, so I thought I'd reread it just to make sure. I still find it charming. Contrary to the name, it's not noir at all (although I gather that most of the rest of the Marvel Noir series are) -- it's pulp. Tony Stark is basically Indiana Jones. Sure, I could have done without things like Pepper as the damsel in distress at the end, but I really like Tony the dashing adventurer. He goes to Atlantis! With Namor the pirate! Hee.
What I'm Reading Now
This week's comics: New Avengers #26: Fffffffffffffffff. I can't. Hickman, Hickman, what are you doing? I have, as they say, feels. It's Tony in a cell. Come on. (And it's really all about Steve and Tony. Apparently.) Avengers, meanwhile, is getting epic again. Also I'm hatereading Axis, because apparently I enjoy pain. Don't read Axis. Read Avengers and New Avengers.
What I'm Reading Next
I dunno. Books. I really have to write my Yuletide story at some point. Dear recipient, I swear at some point I will devote some of my brain to this.
Things have settled down into "flatmate away" mode and I feel more secure and everything is running more smoothly. It's harder to cope without the additional support - I get less energy to do things I want to do and more of it goes into necessary stuff - but I can cope.
( medical updates - cautious optimism )
I've been christmas-decorating the house slowly, and getting people to do tons of odd jobs and other bits and pieces that have been on my "to do" list. Having the house the way I want it is an especially big deal when I spend all of my time here!
That's all I can think of for now ... Love you all!
I have more Imperial Radch drabbles and double-drabbles that I'm ready to post, and some only slightly longer stuff that I'm less sure about. But I can't decide what to do with the drabbles - post them individually or in separate chapters of the same fic, tagged as a drabble collection. Thoughts?
In the Simply Not Allowed files, radius is not allowed to feed Outlook Web Access to a clockspider, due to the disapproval of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Clockspiders.
22:16 Tuesday, 18 November, 2014
It's starting to get chilly in California. The ginkgo leaves have turned the same vibrant yellow as I am used to seeing on birch trees, but I'm not allergic to ginkgo that I know of. I haven't had a vat of poolwater upended into my sinuses. Purple loves that color on the trees, and so do I. It's not quite the time of year where Purple breaks out the puffy teal jacket that, when described, makes Steph think of a grouse puffed up against the cold, but it's getting closer. *pauses for a moment to soak in the mental image* (Think http://www.jeffsundin.com/fishing-pictu
Wanted to wake up early. Didn't. Went to work, vaguely early. Freaked out about car despite swift assessment last night that it was likely to be safe to drive at least to and from work until Friday. Did a little further reading up. Easiest possible problem/solution: loose gas cap. Anything else = trip to the mechanic on Saturday & pray that it's cheap.
I came in to find my chair was stacked with jackets. It was in fact stacked with four jackets, instead of 2. One of the A-Team had excess swag, which he was distributing via the A-Team first. I claimed one for myself.
Located the thought-lost greeting cards in a box under some print cartridges, while searching for the spare tape cartridges for the label-maker, because Mini McCoy had a new dongle and didn't want to lose it (again).
Went to lunch. Due to timing, Purple wound up at the other end of the table. Had some fun conversation with the Rollercoaster Tycoon and Lennon Glasses Guy and some of the others about Office Space, productivity, task-switching, and structured procrastination (building in part from the previous day's conversation). I did not sing The Housewife's Lament, but it was a close call.
Slightly before that, Rollercoaster Tycoon had said something equivalent to: "Reddit is awesome for that. Reddit is awesome for EVERYTHING." I could feel myself pulling up to my full seated height. It was only in my imagination that my hackle feathers smoothed down along my neck and bushed out at my shoulders, just as I was the only person who had just come directly from the context of that Barbie computer engineer book. "If you're a dude," I said. (On Twitter, Sass mentioned that this qualification applies to a lot of things. As does "If you're straight." "If you're white." "If you're able-bodied." Etc.)
Here is a photo of a very busy rooster in full aggressive retreat. He will kick the hell out of you as soon as you turn your back. He also looks as though he should be carrying a briefcase, Steph says.
To his credit, the conversation did not go a lot of the places that it could have gone. ( Read more... )
I am still the person at lunch who is happy to settle questions (like, what is that flag on that guy's jacket) (the Cross of St. George) with the internet. In my culture, constant connectivity in the place of primary socialization is a means of including people who cannot be physically present, rather than excluding oneself and one's cherished local people from each other. (I was able to exclude myself from the people I didn't want to spend time with as a kid and teenager reasonably well with books. Headphones and an iPod aren't all that different.)
It's been a wacky day for my manager, running late to everything. I grumbled about Barbie and bad books. (Hooray fanfiction.) She grumbled about evil developers (who, clearly, are in the business of building evil. And also unaffordable housing in San Francisco.) As we trailed back to our usual digs, I inquired as to jacket size. She does not generally partake of company swag as she is a Woman of Size and therefore most of it does not suit. However, this one? EXCELLENT. She may now smile upon the Attempted Labswiper (as it was he who had the extra jackets).
I saw a passing email from someone who was running late to something because of a meeting which involved Bite Me, McMansplain, and Brutus Cochin. I shuddered. I prepared a small cup of jellybeans, random other fruit candies, and a tequila lemon drop.
Brutus: the famous Roman historical figure: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Jun
Cochin: a feather-footed bantam chicken. Illustrative of the breed's general shape and stance, though they come in many patterns: http://cdn.backyardchickens.com/4/4b/4b
(in summary, the guy's a backstabbing cock.)
lb had a talk at an internal conference today. He has also had The Plague, and been out for the past week-and-change. Purple and Mr. Zune and I walked up to the general area to congratulate him on the talk, and to get ice cream. On the way back, we spotted a hawk up in the top of a redwood. Purple said hi to it. I inquired after Purple & Mr. Zune's jacket sizes. Purple was a match.
Madam Standards is joining the emergency response team. I showed her where my gear is, mentioned that "the blond guy" (Mr. Zune) is also on said team, and showed her the map.
Yay transcription. At least one more day, depending on how many interruptions I get. (Today, they were legion.) In between bursts of transcription, Fishie talked more about her interest in programming. She'd thought her dad sent her the online Java course link because he knew it, but no, apparently he had just been fucking with her, and hadn't thought she'd take the bait. Now she is taking a Python intro course, and is delightedly using the notebook that wound up in The Bag. Also the highlighters. This is the first year she's highlighted her notes. Potential mentors have been popping up out of the woodwork. kaberett has waved a helpful hand. Purple offered a few slices of time. I didn't specifically have any longish-term assignments that I meant for her, but if Fishie was looking for some, I had a Perl-based project with some nice babydev bugs... Then Sophie had things to say. ;) We shall see whether this results in Fishie showing up in the #dw channels eventually.
My disc-based media player takes blu-ray. I conveyed such to Purple. I also conveyed, awkwardly, that I would in fact very much like to see Mockingjay in the theatre, I was in favor of some form of group trip (assuming I didn't get stuck at the mechanic's), and I was vaguely averse to seeing it alone. (I had found the book chock-full of low-level triggers. Thanks, Shawn-related likely-PTSD!) Purple was uncertain whether or not R would enjoy this movie, as his predictions about her taste are spotty. *sings the not-a-date song loudly while retreating into the ladies' room*
Purple's officemate Mr. Bananas has jacket envy now. He had been in search of a new jacket, and apparently that variety is a bit of a hot item. Purple radiated a bit of smugness. He must wash it before attempting to wear it, or court hives. We do not wish hives upon Purple, particularly as we are not allowed to blow bees at him.
There are not many of the strawberry hearts left in my bowl of Runts candy. Purple has decided that the purple ones are edible. The orange ones are all right. The green ones -- he is sad that the green ones are no longer lime. (Om nom nom lime.) He turned off the lava lamp and we wandered out into the parking lot. I saw a car that was probably R's and waved goodnight. There are at least two little white cars of that style and vintage. The reason Vash has disambiguation charms from every side is because there are so many little white cars of that style and vintage. I have been roommates with two of them.
Purple declared that this time, he would stick around to make sure that I was able to leave. We talked cars a bit. Every couple days he checks his car to make sure that the check engine light is only the same two codes as usual. But other than that, it's a good car. (I patted it reassuringly. He laughed at me.) The "don't do that" with Vash and hills resulted in other "don't do that, then" discussion, with that tender spot on my left wrist that hurts when I whack it on something. "On a sharp corner, perhaps?" Purple asked. "Actually, it's more of ... 8D ... an edge case," I said. (Groan. Well, mutual grinning and giggling and discussion of how terrible that was.) He poked at his own wrist searching for the pressure point he was thinking of, then gently traced the bones of my not-sensitive other wrist to point to the spot. I agreed that this was a legit pressure point, and that would hurt, but -- I reached for his hand -- *that* was the spot I was talking of. Bodies, man!
After we bade each other goodnight, I marched over to Vash and checked his gas cap. I screwed it back on. "BINGO!" I yelled to Purple. He teased me a bit, then waited to zoom out of the parking lot until I was definitely following.
I managed to be That Guy this evening: the laundry room in the half-basement of my building has just been renovated. What I did not realize until I had walked it off my shoe: the tacky substance that I stepped in seems to have been paint or something. So the brand-new linoleum has a contrasting color of paint in tasteful little spots in every place I stepped until it ran out of tack. The counter was not replaced, and the NFC chip stickers under the counter were not removed, so I have my 35 and 45 minute timers readily available as usual.
Then I got sidetracked looking for bird pictures.
And also: I just want to say thanks again to everyone who donated to my oral surgery anesthesia fund. I had the surgery today and everything went great. My mouth is numb and
Thank you all sososososo much for donating and signal boosting, I could not have made it here without you.